When everybody feels happy to see that exam is almost done, I feel unhappy. I feel unwell, I feel like......this is a turning point of everything. So many questions are flying on my mind.
How if I can't get what I want? How if my wishes don't come true? How if I can't get what I've got in 7th and 8th year? What should I do? What should I say if I'm not in the first position? How if my concerns come true? How can I enjoy this saturday night when my raport is still unpredictable?
And so many more.........I never feel comfort with this situation. I always think, think, think, think about my raport, my score, my rank.......when I feel 'Yes, I'll be okay although I can't get the first rank.', at the same time, I think 'Oh God, what will I say if I can't get it?' everytime!
Please, everybody cheer me up! My parents never want to know the reason why can't I get the 1st rank, they just want to know that their daughter get the best score in her class. Without knowing how hard to get it. Yeah, maybe, I have to try. Try to receive all the risk. All the possibility. Although I'm not in 1st position, but I've done what I want to.
Sorry for spamming.
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